Baby

I don’t want to live in a world where my cat doesn’t.  I’m over it.

 

Baby and I in 2003

Best conversation of the day…so far.

Me to a guy who works in the hotel kitchen – “Hey, wanna get me some food?”

Kitchen guy – “Yeah. I’ll hold some grapes and feed you.”

Me – “huh?”

Kitchen guy – “You know, you can lay down and relax and I’ll feed you some grapes and wave a fan to keep you cool.”

Me – “Yeah, I’m usually always cold so I’d rather just lay down and relax in my snuggie and eat Wendy’s instead.  Thanks though.”

Caught you!

If you didn’t know, I share a backyard with a homeless man.  He sleeps in a shed, I sleep in a motorhome, we are neighbors.  Yesterday I walked out my door to see if NewYork had some wire cutters and found him and 4 or so others hanging out in the shed doing some kind of drugs (I just learned what weed smells like this past year, I’m so oblivious to life I don’t know what drugs they could have been doing) and to see some cracked out lady stumble out the door and walk down the alley.  They did not look happy to have been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to.  Awesome.  I want a weapon to keep by my bed for safety.

If I die and never post again, be sure to play “Carousels” by mwY and “Asleep” by The Smiths at my funeral, and spread my ashes at 30 Rockefeller Plaza in NYC.  Thanks.

Week 1, done!

I live in a motorhome in the backyard of a house in Church Hill.  Week one is just about done, and I’m still going strong!  I share a space with a homeless man, and sometimes his friends.  It’s interesting.  I took pictures the other day of my set up and new found organization skills to impress you, but iPhoto deleted my photos from my phone and didn’t upload them.  I’ll get around to it possibly tomorrow for try number two.

Life is good.  I live in my dream house, I now have a good job, and I got to hang out with my dear friend Daniel Hill all weekend and will continue to see him every week.  Daniel and I were talking tonight about how he’s probably the only person in this world who has witness me cry.  Maybe I shouldn’t call it crying for what he was around for, it was more like an actual meltdown.  Bless his heart.  I almost feel as if we have to be like best friends for the rest of our lives or else I might have to kill him, he’s seen too much.  Someone did ask this weekend if we were brother and sister and that made me happy.  Out of any male on this planet, he is the only one I could think of who would be my perfect dream brother.  So yes strange girl, thank you for asking.  He is my brother.

Dear Jennifer Knapp,

How are you doing?  It’s been awhile since anyone has heard from you and I truly hope that you are well. Where are you now?

My friend Jayme and I were wondering what you’ve been up to.  I had the wild thought that you were actually my friend Ashley Anderson in disguise.  Someone told me you were a lesbian and living in Australia, and that is why you haven’t released a new collection of songs in 8 years.  But I also heard that you were just in Nashville recording a new album.  I really don’t care what you’ve been doing the last 7 years, I just hope the recording rumor is true!  And even if the lesbian thing is true, I don’t care!  Lesbians make better musicians anyways.

Like I said, I hope you are well and still writing music.  I miss you.  And if you’re ever in the area, please come hang out.  We can even play Rock Band together if you want.

Blessings to you,

Katie Jones

Edit:  Let me point out that I wrote this post months ago, but forgot to press “Publish”.  Jennifer Knapp is back, and I think it’s because of my letter.  You can thank me later J.Knapp fans.

Harry Potter tattoos taking the nation by storm.

I got it.

This isn't sea world, this is real as it gets!

I generally do not like dealing with grown up things, and government stuff falls into that category.  I suck it up and do grown up things, but since I hate government I’ve completely done all I could to not deal.  Examples: Hire lawyers and accountants, or make my older sister do it!  Shoot, when I had to take government (I took college gov when I was in H.S. and the teacher counted my college grades for her class.  I only had to take it once!) I purchased the teacher’s book online so I wouldn’t have to participate at all!  But now I have to be an American and deal.  Yuck!

So now I need to figure out automobile stuff, parking stuff, starting a business stuff, and department of health and/or agriculture stuff.  Can I hire someone to do all of this stuff for me instead?

In other news, I’m going to learn the She & Him album on the ukulele.

Oh shit!

I just got the word and Mother Mary is my turn for the taking! I have the go ahead from my co-owner to go down to Selma, Alabama, to pick it up!  In other words, I’ll be living in what you would call ‘baller status’.  I will be throwing a home warming party wherever Mother Mary will be parked, or even better the party may come to you.  Stoked.

This is Mother Mary

1973 was a good year.

I love Jayme, my baby's other mamma.

Why do I always make that awful face?

Cheers! Jayme and I own a motorhome.

Me right after seeing the RV for the first time. Joyful am I.

We all know this isn’t true in my case…

I still want the shirt though.

No new news is good news.

I guess it is, maybe not?

So what’s new?  I’m looking for a rock steady job.  A good job where I can make loads of money and pay off shit and buy more shit of the recording kind.  And also a samurai sword…finally, or a destination vacation purchased through Cosco.  Besides that, the only other exciting news in my life is Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince coming out in less than a month, and finding out that I’m only a few degrees of separation from Robert Pattinson.  No big deal.  My sources say that he’s into inept, nerdy, chubby girls.  win, Win, WIN!  Lucky us, I was born to succeed in all three.

On his way to Richmond to record in my private studio.

My to do list for the week ending July 4th:
Get a job.
Get a place to live.
Plan a trip to Missouri.
Turn a few degrees into separtion into however many degrees it takes for one to spontanious combust, because that is what’s going to happen to me when I meet Rob.
Mix my ass off working on Wrist Rocket.
Make Wrist Rocket famous.
Turn my life around.

Happy Birthday America.